Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father