I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to