K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Your face is a jimmy john
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
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i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.