The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house