My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
only you would photoshop your dick
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.