either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
