Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
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