would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He called his prostate his "boner button".
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
