Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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