ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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