I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
