i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
