I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you inspire me to be a worse person
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize