my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
