Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
