considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize