Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
