Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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