dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
These tits shall not be calmed
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
