eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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