ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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