I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
