hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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