so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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