My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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