you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
