is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
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