You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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