I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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