Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
