fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
do herpes really smell.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
