I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
