I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
