i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
