DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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