So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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