I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
