My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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