I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize