Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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