bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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