I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
