your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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