No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
