Betty ford says i'm here all night
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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