...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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