Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
it was like eating out sand paper
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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