i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
