You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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