I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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