I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
