I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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