Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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