the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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