you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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