fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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