He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize