You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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