You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
