Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
