That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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