He uses pillows to masturbate.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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