oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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